Finding Allies and the mirror Within

Today I realize the term "Ally"

Ally: to unite or form a connection or relation with another.

Thesis: A process of self doubt, constantly. Somewhere there is a flashing light that tells me to keep doing this. There is purpose and shine, shine, shine. But damn, why is it such a demanding, frustrating, intense experience? All week, I have been struggling with the sense of "I am the one writing this and I have to do it" and "what if no one cares?" What if this is all for myself? A support said, "well what if your research only benefits yourself? Innately, it is your nature to give back and to be concerned with the other, but what would it look like if your research only helped you? Would it be all bad?"

And I realize of course not. All of the sudden I thought of the meaning of passengers on plane in an emergency (dramatic as it is, but stay with me). Before a parent helps a child, they must put on their own oxygen mask. You can only help others, when you have fed oxygen to yourself.

I think of this thesis process as a challenge, maybe not quite an emergency per say, but it is a journey that is important to feed yourself. And at the end of the day I was fed, I was nourished to keep walking into my vocation and life, thus giving the energy to give in healthy ways.

Ally: are the people and the supports that really have and are reminding me to feed myself. Every week I run into class, high on caffeine and pressured that I didn't print three copies of my writing that I haven't done yet but was suppose to. I enter class and I see faces of everyone having the same face and the scent of coffee coming from my co-students. I take a deep breathe and realize that thesis is hard but by allies we can make it through. My classmates and I are on our way to make something really wonderful, out of all these ideas that will benefit self, the art therapy profession, and clients.

Ally: the people that tell me, "Great, your growing, but are you caring for yourself in the process?"

It's one thing to have people remind oneself to ask the tough questions and to reflect internally, but another to say- take care on the process. Find the ally residing inside of you. Don't be afraid to ask for help and admit that sometimes you need others to help you through. I want to ask the tough questions and I am ready to continue my journey without forgetting my tool of the mirror within, reminding myself all will be alright. All will be wonderful.