Today at work we did an medication walk at work and I felt extremely uncovered and exposed to a deeper level. To have to slow things down in a busy urban setting did not sit right with me. All of the sudden I found myself trying to clear my mind, but everything was weighing in and I was there overly bare.
It made me realize the bareness I already have to cope with and slowing it down was like a microscope amplifying my differentness and baring. I was overwhlemed and felt vulnerable.
As leaving to catch the bus a man said hello to me and I saw him watch me cross the street, usual scoff it off my shoulders and walk on, in some way I felt violated. Maybe it was because we were discussing voyuerism today that made it really present in my mind.
I became a little overwhelmed and feeling an anger for the things I deserve that aren't present at the moment... and all of the sudden I was reminded by a friendly conversation, a bucket of paint, and brainstorming ideas when getting home some and I felt an okay-ness to life.
Tonight I had brought to prayer Jeremiah 29:11. I alone the plans I have for you. And this is indeed a reassurance I found this afternoon in baring a little emotion and myself, even if I didn't necessarily like it that much.
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